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doorsclosingslowlyFandom: Star Wars Sequels Trilogy
Characters: Finn, Kylo Ren
Series: The blue man
Length: 625 words
“You knew too much about him, I think,” Finn says. “That’s why you couldn’t hear him. Why it was easier for me.”
Predictably, Kylo Ren doesn’t answer. He just sits on the bed they’ve cuffed him to, head turned away sullenly and pulling on his bacta patches. But Finn’s already in for a credit, and Poe’s in the cockpit, and Rey’s off somewhere doing diagnostics on BB-8, not that he’d begrudge either of them not wanting to spend more time than necessary in Ren’s company. Hell, Finn doesn’t like the guy either. He’s kinda curious though, and there’s something (“Ben, please,” the ghost of Anakin Skywalker begs. “Please come home.”) that is keeping him here.
“You were looking for strength, weren’t you? To be in control, to be safe—free,” he guesses. “You thought Mr Vader had it. It’s no wonder you didn’t find him—”
“Lord Vader was strong!”
Finn shrugs and concedes, “Well, there is a kind of strength in… enduring.” In staying alive—in staying, no matter what life throws at you or how desperately you wish to get away. Finn remembers the endless training rooms. The fear. The loneliness. He remembers the ancient slave wisdom, and the advice that never managed to get far enough to include just run away, not after that benediction on that very first night: Be brave, and don’t look back. The hand holding him back when he wanted to fight because it wasn’t safe—“Young one, you first need to survive…”—and the late night conversations that were the only thing that made life bearable. That made him bear it. That made him stay, long after he first thought of escape.
(He remembers a temple and a young boy and all his Masters and staying in the new cage because what else is there in life?)
There is strength in endurance, Finn considers, and then there is weakness. He laughs, softly so as not to jar his own bruises and bitterly and mourning for the life that could have been and the life that was. He adds, “There was strength in Vader. After all, it takes strength to reach out of despair and take the hand of the son you love, the son who loves—”
“That was Anakin Skywalker! I’m talking about Lord Vader,” Kylo Ren shouts, indignant.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Finn.
“You—”
“That’s not what names are. They’re not magic. I was FN-2187, and now I’m Finn, but I’m always me. Names are just… little promises. People offer them, and you choose them, and they tell you where you belong. Which is important, but it isn’t everything. First, I was the Order’s, and now I am a friend to Poe and Rey and I’m lucky.” He could have been a part of his squad as well, if only they’d just named him, and who knows what his life would be like now. Probably definitely worse. (Finn’s almost done being sore about the lack of nickname thing by now.)
“Anakin Skywalker belonged with his family. Darth Vader belonged to the Emperor. But it was the person who was Skywalker and Vader, the same person, who chose to sack the Jedi temple and who threw the Master down the reactor shaft. Who rescued his son and tortured his dau—who tortured your mother. The man who fell in love and fell and hurt her. The man you admire and the man I know.” Finn strokes a finger down the cuff of his jacket, and then he looks up squarely into Kylo Ren’s patched-up face.
“Do you understand? It’s Darth Vader who will live forever with those regrets. You’d better learn to see it, because I’m sure you’ll want to talk to him soon, Ben.”
___________________________________________
(Very rough draft of a future scene for that fic in which Finn and Anakin hang out, aka The blue man. Like, way in the future, I’ve got some actual *gasp* plot to write before we get to this point. I don’t want to have to keep reordering the series and it’s not long enough for the 1k limit I have for The blue man fics anyway, but I also liked this idea and I thought about it way too soon and didn’t want to let it sink back into the morass of my brain.) [originally posted 2016-11-05]
Characters: Finn, Kylo Ren
Series: The blue man
Length: 625 words
“You knew too much about him, I think,” Finn says. “That’s why you couldn’t hear him. Why it was easier for me.”
Predictably, Kylo Ren doesn’t answer. He just sits on the bed they’ve cuffed him to, head turned away sullenly and pulling on his bacta patches. But Finn’s already in for a credit, and Poe’s in the cockpit, and Rey’s off somewhere doing diagnostics on BB-8, not that he’d begrudge either of them not wanting to spend more time than necessary in Ren’s company. Hell, Finn doesn’t like the guy either. He’s kinda curious though, and there’s something (“Ben, please,” the ghost of Anakin Skywalker begs. “Please come home.”) that is keeping him here.
“You were looking for strength, weren’t you? To be in control, to be safe—free,” he guesses. “You thought Mr Vader had it. It’s no wonder you didn’t find him—”
“Lord Vader was strong!”
Finn shrugs and concedes, “Well, there is a kind of strength in… enduring.” In staying alive—in staying, no matter what life throws at you or how desperately you wish to get away. Finn remembers the endless training rooms. The fear. The loneliness. He remembers the ancient slave wisdom, and the advice that never managed to get far enough to include just run away, not after that benediction on that very first night: Be brave, and don’t look back. The hand holding him back when he wanted to fight because it wasn’t safe—“Young one, you first need to survive…”—and the late night conversations that were the only thing that made life bearable. That made him bear it. That made him stay, long after he first thought of escape.
(He remembers a temple and a young boy and all his Masters and staying in the new cage because what else is there in life?)
There is strength in endurance, Finn considers, and then there is weakness. He laughs, softly so as not to jar his own bruises and bitterly and mourning for the life that could have been and the life that was. He adds, “There was strength in Vader. After all, it takes strength to reach out of despair and take the hand of the son you love, the son who loves—”
“That was Anakin Skywalker! I’m talking about Lord Vader,” Kylo Ren shouts, indignant.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Finn.
“You—”
“That’s not what names are. They’re not magic. I was FN-2187, and now I’m Finn, but I’m always me. Names are just… little promises. People offer them, and you choose them, and they tell you where you belong. Which is important, but it isn’t everything. First, I was the Order’s, and now I am a friend to Poe and Rey and I’m lucky.” He could have been a part of his squad as well, if only they’d just named him, and who knows what his life would be like now. Probably definitely worse. (Finn’s almost done being sore about the lack of nickname thing by now.)
“Anakin Skywalker belonged with his family. Darth Vader belonged to the Emperor. But it was the person who was Skywalker and Vader, the same person, who chose to sack the Jedi temple and who threw the Master down the reactor shaft. Who rescued his son and tortured his dau—who tortured your mother. The man who fell in love and fell and hurt her. The man you admire and the man I know.” Finn strokes a finger down the cuff of his jacket, and then he looks up squarely into Kylo Ren’s patched-up face.
“Do you understand? It’s Darth Vader who will live forever with those regrets. You’d better learn to see it, because I’m sure you’ll want to talk to him soon, Ben.”
___________________________________________
(Very rough draft of a future scene for that fic in which Finn and Anakin hang out, aka The blue man. Like, way in the future, I’ve got some actual *gasp* plot to write before we get to this point. I don’t want to have to keep reordering the series and it’s not long enough for the 1k limit I have for The blue man fics anyway, but I also liked this idea and I thought about it way too soon and didn’t want to let it sink back into the morass of my brain.) [originally posted 2016-11-05]
